The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, captured

Gender Ideology is a political ideology

The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers (ABM) a UK registered charity was founded in 1979 by women who were members of La Leche League.  These founding members saw a niche to support women who La Leche League were not reaching.  As a working mother, the ABM’s distance training model suited me.

The term, ‘mother supporter’ was chosen over ‘peer supporter’ as it ‘made us unique’. 1979 was the age of second wave feminism and the founders wanted to have ‘mothers’ visible in the name of the association and the name of its entry level trained members. The ABM also carries no advertising and its small size possibly made it less hierarchical which also appealed to me. For clarity, a breastfeeding counsellor is the next stage of training in the ABM’s model.

I found the ABM through a large UK parenting board, Mumsnet, which my partner stated, he had no business in there; it says so in the name.  A place with outspoken women who freely gave of their expertise, warmth, and camaraderie far beyond nappies and boobies.  Without familial links in the UK, the women on Mumsnet became my mama-tribe and I remain in touch with some who I met nearly two decades ago. This is the power of women.  To form powerful bonds beyond our differences and unite because we are mothers; we are women.

I moved to the Middle East in 2016 and continued to support women where once more our differences disappeared because of bumps, babies, and breasts.  I also became keenly aware of the value of female only spaces.  Most westernised women, including myself from the Caribbean, have no idea what they are missing, what we have lost, until we enter truly woman only spaces. And having to give no reason for no men in our spaces:  waiting rooms in public buildings, and train carriages, women and children only queues at the airport have distinct advantages.  Free of men, women relax more in each other’s company. Women only celebrations at private homes where there is zero concern that men will be ‘accidentally’ present. We speak sooner and more freely in each other’s company. 

In 2017 the ABM’s Conference organiser contacted me asking if I would be the photographer.  I happily agreed and changed my flight dates from Qatar to coincide with the London conference.  I remember her sharing with other members of the central committee that I was coming ‘all the way from Qatar’ to participate. I also communicated this in person with more than one member of central committee at the event.

In 2021, my absence from the UK was used as the reason I was given for removing my status as ‘mother supporter’.

Transactivism in birth and breastfeeding - a global phenomenon

In mid 2018 a week-long verbal confrontation occurred on the Facebook page of a friend, and I made the decision to intervene about the behaviour of breastfeeding and birth related transactivists should the opportunity arise.  Little did I know it would arise within the ABM.

The screen caps below are quotes from women with global recognition in the breastfeeding world, some holding the IBCLC, an internationally recognised qualification and the only breastfeeding qualification with a legally protected status. I’ll invite you to google their names for yourself; some are well-known in their professional field. Imagine if the principal at your child’s school behaved in this way with the teaching staff and parents.

One reason the thread was started. One IBCLC who was blocked

Sneering, condescension, gaslighting, ageism and sexism

In late 2019 I happened upon an active thread in a closed home birth Facebook group. Milli Hill had been under sustained attack for months, I later understood, by transactivists some of whom were members of the ABM.  My detailed and referenced complaint with 20 screen caps of dialogue showed that the language and behaviour of three mother supporters who were training to be breastfeeding counsellors broke the ABM social media policy, their discrimination policy, and the Equality Act of 2010 as well as bringing the organisation into disrepute. 

The response rejected my claims and it repeated the central committee’s commitment to trans ideology. My complaint made no references to trans activism or gender ideology.  It stated:

The implied conclusion is that the ABM’s members can call a woman a racist/bigot/terf because she states that only women give birth and breastfeed. 

I refused to accept the dismissive response and wrote once more. As per the Complaints policy three members of Central Committee reviewed the complaint. 

The three members of Central Committee provided a professional and legal in UK law response.  At this point, my access to the ABM ‘trained and training’ group was terminated without notice.  This was retaliation for not shutting up and knowing my place.  The only reason provided is that I am not currently in the UK. They have not yet provided me a satisfactory response to the Freedom of Information request showing where in the organisation’s policies, it states that to be a mother supporter I must be resident in the UK.

Within a week, a third letter arrived overturning the second letter.  The Central Committee bottled it and bowed to the browbeating of the trans activists within the organisation.  I remain persona non grata.

Still, only women breastfeed.

How did we get here?

As I said, the 2018 attack a public page demonstrated that there have been many previous discussions, fierce discussions, happening in closed social media groups. Narratives have been rehearsed there and now the narrative was moving out of the niches where IBCLC and breastfeeding counsellors (bfc’s) congregate and into the mainstream where anyone can read them.  These IBCLC’s and bfc’s are based in wealthy western countries and they contribute to breastfeeding policies for the WHO, UNICEF, IFBAN and WABA. In the UK they also help to shape breastfeeding policy in the NHS.  How they view women influences how they help shape policy that directly affect the primary health of mothers and babies globally.

The attack on Marian Tompson preceded a later attack on her private face book page.  Marian Tompson is a 90+ year old and only living founder of La Leche League.  Maureen Minchin is in her 70s and she worked her entire life in breastfeeding research and helped to create the field of lactation consultancy. Likewise, in the birth world in 2019, a midwifery conference that was to be held at an Amish retreat in the United States was destroyed by trans ideology activists in the birth and breastfeeding world.   The attack on Milli Hill therefore was quite predictable. 

I also understand that the fierce attacks on others serve as heads on spikes at the crossroads, on bridges and in the marketplace. And this isn’t only the lowly supporter who is threatened.  Without the secret groups where who’s who in birth and breastfeeding gather, women lose their standing in these communities, and possibly their livelihoods, if unlike me, breastfeeding and birth support are tied to their income and careers.  A most ‘caring’ professional on social media public pages – virtue signalling - can morph into vicious careerist attacking a colleague who she may have known and worked with for years in the privacy of closed professional groups. It is easy to be shunned if you do not repeat the professions of faith.

So, those who want to or need to continue to be a part of the birthing and breastfeeding networks will say the right things, know when stay silent, or leave quietly since speaking up results in excommunication for refusing to show allegiance to trans ideology.

Mission creep

Last year I attended the ABM’s Annual General Meeting, and asked the following question:

In response the ABM chair, Emma Pickett, repeated the ideological profession of faith in their previous letter: that of course the ABM serves women and ‘families’ and it must ‘be kind’ to trans people.

What was not referenced is how the ABM safeguards women who do not want male bodied people in their spaces – for any reason. How it operates outside its remit of its constitution. Some women and volunteers object on religious grounds, some due to trauma. However, a woman need not provide a reason why she needs to be away from male bodied people.  Because she wants to be is reason enough.

I believe that there is internal and external pressure for on the ABM to remove the word ‘mother’ from its name.  On more than one occasion, and before I was persona non-grata she had stated that ‘we must try harder than others’, meaning charities to show our inclusiveness.  Hmm, why?  It also accounts for the removal of ‘mother’ and adoption of ‘peer’ supporter’ in the title. 

As a charity for women and by women, it is diluting its message by serving a politically driven ideology and is in breach of its governing document which is filed with the UK Charity Commission and its constitution which states:

But the most recent Trustee’s Report states:

This is mission creep. It is deceptive and it contravenes the rules by which the ABM is funded by British Taxpayers. Taken to its logical conclusion, the ABM can offer support to males who intend to attempt to breastfeed newborn babies. Or it can train trans identifying males to visit newly postpartum women who are at home with newborn babies. Or volunteers to the helpline will be compelled to give breastfeeding ‘advice’ to men with lactophilia - breastfeeding fetish and will not be able to deny them the service if they ‘identify as’ women. Another implication is that a man with a breastfeeding fetish may coerce his wife let him attempt to breastfeed their baby. [And if you think these scenarios are farfetched, I invite you to search for breastfeeding and birth fetish on Reddit.] This conflicts with basic safeguarding for babies and newly post-partum women. It conflicts with the biological imperative of keeping the mother-baby dyad united. It also disregards the safeguarding of ABM volunteers.

Objective questions are no longer appropriate and are provocative.

The ABM breached the Equality Act when it blocked me from its Facebook Public Page after asking a question regarding the language change it used to summarise a Muslim woman’s presentation at the ABM’s 2021 Breastfeeding Conference. Note the lack of mother and woman centred language in the post. This isn’t ‘additive language’; it is ‘subtractive’ or ‘replacing’ language.

My question was: “Can the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers share where I can read/ cite the evidence that "some people are not comfortable with using the word breast and prefer to use the word chest" as this would be useful for further learning.”

I posed the above as a follow up after a Muslim woman responded to the ABM public page during the Holy Month of Ramadan: The schools of thought agree that breastfeeding mothers are exempted, there is no mention of chest feeding parent. What is it [chest feeding parent]?, challenging the desexed language in the screen cap above.

In the context of breastfeeding and Islam, many Muslim women found the ABM’s response offensive. The presenter at the ABM Conference used woman-centred language so she was also misinterpreted to suit the gender ideology framework.

The ABM social media team responded:  Some people are not comfortable with using the word breast and prefer to use the word chest.  They still lactate so would still be exempt.

I also posted this handy [the ABM deemed it ‘provocative’] screen cap which I made as the journal article quoted is frequently used by trans activists as why it is necessary to use terms like ‘chestfeeding’ and ‘lactating parent’. This very thin piece of research does not support their claim.

Rather than answer uncomfortable questions someone blocked me from the page despite being a paying member and a [now banned] mother supporter for being a gobby woman. Or rather for them having no coherent responses.

An observant Jewish woman objected to the language change on the basis of breastfeeding in Judaism and another mother voiced her concerns about the content of the opening post. They were removed from the page.

A Muslim woman who is also a breastfeeding professional complained on behalf of several other Muslim mothers and she received, in part, the following libellous written response:

Blocking me for asking gender critical questions is against the findings of Forstater v CGD where my questions are found to be valid for breastfeeding women and for civil society.  I joined a breastfeeding organisation because evidence-based knowledge is important to support women.  Little did I know how easy it was to betray that core principle for a faith based one. Following my own complaint I was unblocked and told that they will not answer my ‘needlessly provocative’ questions, the the ABM is committed to ‘additive language’, that I should find something else to do with my time, and encouraged me to leave the organisation [my summary and paraphrase].

No.

Final observations

I predicted as the increasingly bold face of trans activism moves out of the niche groups and into the marketplace of the Daily Mail, The Times, and The Australian, it may unravel but the damage done to breastfeeding and birthing women and to volunteers is a high price to pay. Helen Joyce, to my direct question in her Mumsnet webinar shortly after the release of Trans (2021), stated that it would be useless to attempt to re-establish these organisations along their founding guidelines as they are now too damaged. It would be more worthwhile to start over.

Breastfeeding advocacy has had an image problem in the mainstream press and society since forever it seems and the damage done by transactivism and gender ideology will set women back for decades. How can women trust these organisations when the public fully realise the damage that they have contributed to, in the face of all the evidence already available, that feelings and acts of faith is more important than evidence based information and material reality?

This was a very long post and if you read this far, women’s sex based rights matter to you. If you volunteer or work with women in birth or breastfeeding, and would like to share your experiences with the political capture of your organisation, I’d love to hear from you, confidentially of course.